[ReubenVP]

What was Icarus's favourite food?


Hot wings.


I had another joke about Icarus but it didn't go the the distance.

[Stan Thomas]

Did you know the ancient Babylonians invented the contraceptive pill? It was round and made of marble, and about 10mm in diameter.

Apparently, you put it in your sandal, and it made you limp.

[SteveB]

I was getting concerned about my weight so went to see the doctor.

He said: “Don’t eat anything fatty.”

I said: “Like what, sausage and chips?”

He said: “No fatty, don’t eat anything!”

[ReubenVP]

What do you get if you cross a frog with a secret agent?


James Pond.

[ReubenVP]

How many Stormtroopers does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they are all on the dark side.

[ReubenVP]

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but the light bulb must really want to change.

[Stan Thomas]

How many Brummies does it take to change a light bulb?

Five.

One stands on a chair and holds the bulb, and the other four turn the chair round.

[ReubenVP]

If your house is cold, just stand in the corner.

It's always 90 degrees there.

[Johnny 216GSi]

Since we're on light-bulb jokes, here's one I cherished from many, many years (since the early 90s).


How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just make darkness the new industry standard.

[ReubenVP]

My friend set fire to all her outstanding bills.

Her name is Bernadette.