[ReubenVP]

I sold my guitars to someone with no arms.

I asked, how are you going to play them. They said I don't know, I'll play it by ear.

[SteveB]

Christmas gift ideas – books that would make ideal stocking fillers:

Replacing the K Series Head Gasket by Hughie Go-Aggen

How to test Shock Absorbers by Bowen C Ryde

Radiator Repairs by Ivor Leke

How to use a torque wrench by Titus Thebooksez

[ReubenVP]

The inventor of the lozenge has passed away.

There will be no coffin at their funeral.

[ReubenVP]

What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account?

Prime mates.

[ReubenVP]

How much does it cost to swim with sharks?

An arm and a leg.

[ReubenVP]

I told my doctor I heard buzzing, but they said it's just a bug going around.

[ReubenVP]

The person who invented the umbrella was going to call it brella.

But they hesitated.

[Dorchester]

[ReubenVP]

What do you call Santa without Sat Nav?

A lost Claus.

[ReubenVP]

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?

Roberto

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe and whose had their Rover stolen?

Roberto Carlos