Humour
Re: Humour
At the Greggs recruitment centre there are quite a few rolls available.
Re: Humour
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if it had four doors it'd be a chicken hatchback.
Because if it had four doors it'd be a chicken hatchback.
Re: Humour
What do you call an underwater dog?
A subwoofer.
A subwoofer.
Re: Humour
A man walks into a doctors surgery.
“Can I help?” asks the receptionist.
“I’ve got shingles” he replies.
“Okay” said the receptionist, “give me your details then have a seat and the nurse will see you shortly”.
The man takes a seat and after a while the nurse calls him into their room.
“How can I help?” asks the nurse.
“I’ve got shingles” said the man. The nurse measures his height and weight then takes his temperature, blood pressure and a blood sample.
“Have a seat” said the nurse, “I’ll pass these on to the doctor and they’ll see you shortly”.
After a while, the doctor calls him into their room.
“How can I help?” asks the doctor.
“I’ve got shingles” said the man.
“Okay” said the doctor, “go behind that screen and take your clothes off”.
The man undresses, the doctor gives him a good look over then says:
“Well, I’ve given you a thorough examination and can’t find any sign of shingles. Where do you think you’ve got them?”.
The man replies “They’re outside in the truck. Where do you want them?”.
“Can I help?” asks the receptionist.
“I’ve got shingles” he replies.
“Okay” said the receptionist, “give me your details then have a seat and the nurse will see you shortly”.
The man takes a seat and after a while the nurse calls him into their room.
“How can I help?” asks the nurse.
“I’ve got shingles” said the man. The nurse measures his height and weight then takes his temperature, blood pressure and a blood sample.
“Have a seat” said the nurse, “I’ll pass these on to the doctor and they’ll see you shortly”.
After a while, the doctor calls him into their room.
“How can I help?” asks the doctor.
“I’ve got shingles” said the man.
“Okay” said the doctor, “go behind that screen and take your clothes off”.
The man undresses, the doctor gives him a good look over then says:
“Well, I’ve given you a thorough examination and can’t find any sign of shingles. Where do you think you’ve got them?”.
The man replies “They’re outside in the truck. Where do you want them?”.
Re: Humour
Shout out to all the people who don't know what the opposite of in is.
Re: Humour
I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines.
They're a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.
They're a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.
Re: Humour
What do you call a one legged hippo?
A hoppo.
A hoppo.
Re: Humour
To make a Pirate angry just remove their P.
Re: Humour
Saw someone standing on one leg at a cash machine, I asked them what are they doing?
They said they're checking their balance.
They said they're checking their balance.
Re: Humour
Just been to the gym at work because they got a new machine in. Only used it for half an hour as I started to get sick.
It's great though. It does everything- Kit Kats, Mars bars, crisps, the lot.
It's great though. It does everything- Kit Kats, Mars bars, crisps, the lot.