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Re: Humour
Posted: Sat May 18, 2024 8:04 pm
by ReubenVP
What was Icarus's favourite food?
Hot wings.
I had another joke about Icarus but it didn't go the the distance.
Re: Humour
Posted: Sun May 19, 2024 8:20 am
by Stan Thomas
Did you know the ancient Babylonians invented the contraceptive pill? It was round and made of marble, and about 10mm in diameter.
Apparently, you put it in your sandal, and it made you limp.
Re: Humour
Posted: Sun May 19, 2024 10:24 pm
by SteveB
I was getting concerned about my weight so went to see the doctor.
He said: “Don’t eat anything fatty.”
I said: “Like what, sausage and chips?”
He said: “No fatty, don’t eat anything!”
Re: Humour
Posted: Tue May 21, 2024 8:05 am
by ReubenVP
What do you get if you cross a frog with a secret agent?
James Pond.
Re: Humour
Posted: Tue May 21, 2024 10:34 am
by ReubenVP
How many Stormtroopers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they are all on the dark side.
Re: Humour
Posted: Tue May 21, 2024 8:30 pm
by ReubenVP
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but the light bulb must really want to change.
Re: Humour
Posted: Wed May 22, 2024 8:33 am
by Stan Thomas
How many Brummies does it take to change a light bulb?
Five.
One stands on a chair and holds the bulb, and the other four turn the chair round.
Re: Humour
Posted: Fri May 24, 2024 9:32 am
by ReubenVP
If your house is cold, just stand in the corner.
It's always 90 degrees there.
Re: Humour
Posted: Fri May 24, 2024 12:56 pm
by Johnny 216GSi
Since we're on light-bulb jokes, here's one I cherished from many, many years (since the early 90s).
How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just make darkness the new industry standard.
Re: Humour
Posted: Sat May 25, 2024 7:39 pm
by ReubenVP
My friend set fire to all her outstanding bills.
Her name is Bernadette.