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Re: Humour
Posted: Mon Sep 16, 2024 9:11 pm
by StubbornPatriot
My wife and I were in town the other day. We walked past the doorway of an expensive French restaurant.
"Ooh, that smells heavenly", my wife effused.
I smiled at her, "I'll tell you what. I'll treat you."
. . . and walked her past the doorway again.
Re: Humour
Posted: Tue Sep 17, 2024 7:59 am
by SteveB
I told my wife she’d drawn her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised…
Re: Humour
Posted: Tue Sep 17, 2024 11:10 am
by ReubenVP
Don't be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you.
Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.
Re: Humour
Posted: Tue Sep 17, 2024 7:36 pm
by SteveB
We've just sold our vacuum cleaner.
Well... it was only collecting dust.
Tim Vine
Re: Humour
Posted: Wed Sep 18, 2024 10:48 am
by ReubenVP
I have a pen that can write underwater.
It can write other words too.
Re: Humour
Posted: Fri Sep 20, 2024 9:41 am
by ReubenVP
Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They haven't got the guts.
Re: Humour
Posted: Mon Sep 23, 2024 8:23 am
by ReubenVP
Before the crowbar was invented, crows had to drink at home.
Re: Humour
Posted: Fri Sep 27, 2024 12:33 pm
by StubbornPatriot
I went to the GP the other day. He said, "You haven't got arthritis. You've got early onset rigor mortis".
Re: Humour
Posted: Tue Oct 01, 2024 11:52 am
by ReubenVP
Not to brag, but I have sychic powers.
For example, right now you're thinking:
"It's psychic, you idiot."
Re: Humour
Posted: Wed Oct 02, 2024 1:24 am
by Johnny 216GSi
Someone broke into my house last night and stole my limbo trophy.
How low can you go?