Rover 200 & 400 Owners Club

At the Greggs recruitment centre there are quite a few rolls available.

Why does a chicken coop have two doors?

Because if it had four doors it'd be a chicken hatchback.

What do you call an underwater dog?

A subwoofer.

A man walks into a doctors surgery.

“Can I help?” asks the receptionist.

“I’ve got shingles” he replies.

“Okay” said the receptionist, “give me your details then have a seat and the nurse will see you shortly”.

The man takes a seat and after a while the nurse calls him into their room.

“How can I help?” asks the nurse.

“I’ve got shingles” said the man. The nurse measures his height and weight then takes his temperature, blood pressure and a blood sample.

“Have a seat” said the nurse, “I’ll pass these on to the doctor and they’ll see you shortly”.

After a while, the doctor calls him into their room.

“How can I help?” asks the doctor.

“I’ve got shingles” said the man.

“Okay” said the doctor, “go behind that screen and take your clothes off”.

The man undresses, the doctor gives him a good look over then says:

“Well, I’ve given you a thorough examination and can’t find any sign of shingles. Where do you think you’ve got them?”.

The man replies “They’re outside in the truck. Where do you want them?”.

Shout out to all the people who don't know what the opposite of in is.

I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines.

They're a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.

What do you call a one legged hippo?


A hoppo.

To make a Pirate angry just remove their P.

Saw someone standing on one leg at a cash machine, I asked them what are they doing?

They said they're checking their balance.

Just been to the gym at work because they got a new machine in. Only used it for half an hour as I started to get sick.

It's great though. It does everything- Kit Kats, Mars bars, crisps, the lot.