Rover 200 & 400 Owners Club

What did the tectonic plate say when it bumped into another tectonic plate?

"Sorry that's my fault."

Ruben's still on top form

Just bought a sweet car online.

Previously owned by Neil Diamond.

How does the Pope pay for things he orders online?

He uses Papal

I went to my local Costa Coffee shop this morning and said to the Barista:
"Can I have a Cappuccino, please?"

She said:
"Is that to sit in?"

I said:
"No, I'm going to drink it."

Dr Watson was still drinking after closing time in the pub.

"Come on." said the barman. "Haven't you got Holmes to go to?"

I was in the Post Office queue yesterday when Diana Ross tried to push in.

I said "You can't hurry love, you'll just have to wait...."

How do you weight a Millennial?

In Instagrams.

My dentist has just been arrested for drug dealing. I didn't realise that he was a dentist.

The Police just knocked on my door to tell me my dog was chasing a child on their bike,
I just closed the door, my dog doesn't have a bike.