My friend has a Terry's chocolate orange addiction, they have been sectioned.

I'm convinced I'm a letter.

If anyone has any ideas for a cure, keep me posted.

If you order an axe from France and have it shipped, you'll have a French axe sent.

I call my car 'Flattery'- it gets me nowhere!

My friend is having an operation on their back. Their partner told me they are passing their time playing board games. Backgammon, draughts, ludo etc.

I said:-
"Any chess?"

They said:-
"No, They've gone private."

News just in- Someone has fallen into a large display of golf clubs.

Police say they are stable but not out of the woods yet.

At first, I thought my Chiropractor wasn't any good, but now I stand corrected.

How do you stop bacon curling in the frying pan?

You take away their broom.

Police have confirmed that the person who jumped from the 18th floor of a local nightclub was not a bouncer.

Have you heard about the chocolate box thief?

They've always got a few Twix up their sleeve.