[ReubenVP]

My friend is having an operation on their back. Their partner told me they are passing their time playing board games. Backgammon, draughts, ludo etc.

I said:-
"Any chess?"

They said:-
"No, They've gone private."

[ReubenVP]

I call my car 'Flattery'- it gets me nowhere!

[ReubenVP]

If you order an axe from France and have it shipped, you'll have a French axe sent.

[961tat]

Two fish are in a tank when one turns to the other and says, "do you know how to drive this thing?

[961tat]

My mate and I bought signed photos of Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett for £1 each. So it was a good buy for me…and a good buy for him.

[ReubenVP]

I'm convinced I'm a letter.

If anyone has any ideas for a cure, keep me posted.

[961tat]

The worst pub I’ve ever been to was called The Fiddle.
It was a vile inn.

[ReubenVP]

My friend has a Terry's chocolate orange addiction, they have been sectioned.